The Comics Curmudgeon

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“Why even grow a mustache if you’re not going to stroke it thoughtfully” is Lonnie’s take on things

Big news, everyone

Phone stuff

The Farmers’ Almanac is the real victim of the smartphone era

Metapost: TGI … comments of the week? We ARE allowed to say that!

TGI … F? Are we still allowed to say that?

Gertie’s husband should divorce her. There, I said it. He’s obviously very unhappy

Head-on fish skeletons, a normal thing you see all the time in real life

Do you want to chew your cud all day, buddy, does that sound appealing

Harsh judgements

The whole Forest Kingdom agribusiness system is VERY suspect

At least nobody is talking about pooping, OK? Just give me this

Metapost: A young man’s fancy turns to the comments of the week

The rich are different (very dumb but also insulated from consequences)

Maybe he’s there on a court order

Taxes, but no death

Some old people and their problems

More like Marty Sun (because of how brightly colored his outfit is)

Thank goodness she’s not some sort of goose vampire, that would be truly alarming

The whackest place to live in America, maybe

Metapost: COTW real quick

To be fair, everyone in Marvin kind of hates each other

No AI is perverse enough to take on Mary Worth, I’m safe

Love and pee

Oh, it’s OK to punch a guy in the throat, but this goes too far somehow

Fraught greetings

Mary Worth goes grunge

More like BogdGGUGH

Metapost: It’s that time of week again (comment time)

Friday romance (?)

Jamaal’s actually working, someone has to while Herb ruminates endlessly

April Fool’s Comics

Iudex Parker (only real late antiquity heads will get this one)

Gonna need a good editor to put this Nitrate back together

Also, did he sleep sitting up or what

The great outdoors

Metapost: Slightly late real quick COTW

Just kidding, I regret nothing as usual

If Alexander took his place, would anyone even notice

Facial expression theater

Walker-Browne Tuesday (warfighters only)

Surely a man so lavishly dressed has ample resources to survive this error

Spring keeps on springin’

Downer Saturday

Metpost: Friday is for comments (of the week)

“Unease” is one of my main emotional modes, not gonna lie

Animals strike curious poses (derogatory)

What’s the wine made of? Probably I don’t want to know

Metapost: Scary COTW, redux

Roller coaster Friday

She really “felts the clods,” if you know what I mean

Dark magic indeed

Dot doesn’t really care for the theater, and more power to her

Who needs the TV show to experience a dark, gritty Riverdale

Animals strike curious poses

A “mud mountain” is a classic OSHA safety violation

Metapost: Good, wholesome COTW

Romantic successes

Thursday affirmations

Joey’s throwing form is terrible, that’s amusing at least

Live your life so Mary Worth never bold-face yells “AGE DIFFERENCE?” at you

The guy she’s killing is definitely not an immediate threat, right? Like this one’s just for fun

The North of England was a Yorkist stronghold, not sure if that’s relevant

The comments don’t actually make sound, that’s a metaphor

Josh gets cranky

Comfortably numb

Metapost: What a week! A week for comments!

Perverse Friday

EXCITING CAT DEVELOPMENTS

Soapy Wednesday

On the other hand, Hagar shouldn’t understand “profits” as distinct from “robbery”

Honestly more comics characters should be sent to Donetsk oblast, it’d really shake things up around here

To me, these animals are not funny

Romantical comics

Metapost: Spooky, scary COTW

A bullet’s too good for this creep

Children who I dislike

Various sadnesses

Bygone times, mostly

Not sure why he’s so sweaty, it looks pretty cold out

Sunday highs and lows

Best wishes (not to anyone in Marvin)

Metapost: The polar vortex will continue but the comments offer some relief

Working (kind of) for the weekend

Family drama

“Honorable” may be overstating the case

I’m not convinced Rex is absolutely certain of his kids’ names, for what it’s worth

Damn, they made Max put on a suit for this, but Slylock gets to keep wearing his goofy cape

Sexy (?) Sunday

Something must’ve happened? In this strip? Unlikely

Metapost: HAPPENING NOW: COMMENT OF THE WEEK

Hanging on by a thread

Pleas for sanity (metaphorical and actual)

Things that are and are not new

Mistakes, repentance, etc.

Is that old CRT TV some kind of portal to our dimension

We can’t all be heroes

Medical madness

Metapost: Wintry COTW

To be fair, I wouldn’t to do anything together with either Hi or Lois

Boring vs. sad: Battle for soap opera supremacy

I personally would not give Garfield access to a phone. Nothing good could come of it

Another think coming

Twists and/or turns

Menacing birds/food/social relations

Sympathy for the plugger

Metapost: The comments, they are amusin’

Family fun

Remembering some guys

Mostly old people problems

Not big fan of the B.C. guys’ messed up faces either

I don’t think a guy could just do that to a basketball no matter how mad he is. I don’t think that’s realistic

Sunday is for bird crimes

Mostly snowy one-panels

Metapost: #1 COTW o’ 2026

A marriage plot

Thursday one-panels

HOT TIP: You don’t have to sign a prenup if the guy you ask to conduct your wedding isn’t a real minister

A little Rex goes a long way, that’s all I’m saying

Domestic intranquillity

2026 TRIUMPHANT RETURN COMICS: MAN/WOMAN AND CAT/BIRD LOVE

Merry Parrotmas to all! And to all a Sunny night!

Unhappy holidays

Monday is for the birds

The disturbing reason for the season

Baby (Jesus/parrots[metaphorical]/, creation of)

Metapost: Naughty? Nice? These comments are a little of both

How is “AXX” pronounced? Feel free to email me MP3s of your guesses

Fast cars and fast takes

Looming holiday cheer

Ian won the award because he’s the only male professor who turned down a sexual advance from a student this year

Eros/thanatos

Not-so-funny animals

Guns (not in Andy Capp, that’s knifecrime territory)

Metapost: 12-12-Twomments of the tweek

Unsettling Friday

That bird is pure evil and I love it

Someday they’re gonna reveal who’s under the boxes and I promise it will be extremely underwhelming

What vile Scots obscenity is Ian shouting here? Sound off in the comments

Monday is for teens

I get the sense that Henry is a lot pettier than we give him credit for

Literally, nobody wants to give pluggers the time of day

Metapost: Wintry COTW

One-panel Friday

Gertie is going to have the first ever divorce trial broadcast on Fox Sports 1

If I wanted to think this much about the 6-7 meme, I would’ve had children

Ha ha, TUESDAYS, amiright (statistically speaking, I’m probably right)

Monday egg chat

Sunday is for large bearded men

Adopt, don’t shop (for horrifying nightmare beasts)

Metapost: Post-prandial COTW

Friday is for birds (non-Toby edition)

Thanksgiving horrors

Distasteful Wednesday

Toby doesn’t care about Sunny’s criminal past … she’s so open-minded

Monday fast takes

Josh asks: How DARE you

Norwegian! Would?

Metapost: COTW ASAP

He’s already named “Ozob,” how many clown aliases does one guy need

Ceci n’est pas une course automobile

Mmm … quality pellet food

There was a 6-7 meme joke in Pluggers today, go look it up if you dare, I refuse to deal with it

Don’t even think we need to get into why this bird-lady did it, we can all guess

It’s not the clam’s fault it’s very quiet

Being cool is not a sin, Dennis

Metapost: Gonna comment all up in your week, baby

Yes, Crock’s middle initial is “P”, I don’t care for it but there it is

You can fly, man. Why even bother running. Makes no sense

Streaming doesn’t count, people on streaming shows don’t have souls

Josh has some second thoughts

I think coffee tastes great, that’s why I put so much cream and sugar in it

Please do not peck my eyes out, bird lovers, you are valid

The spices go on the pumpkin, they’re not in the pumpkin

Metapost: The week that was, and the comments of it

I guess if you learn things about him in conversation, he becomes less unknown and it kills the vibe

Nothing worse than finding trust fund kids in your canal

The hills have eyes, and lolling tongues

Whose luggage is that and why did they bring it on their date

Toby has journeyed far from Charterstone, so nobody can see her shameful between-meals nosh

Bad romances

Just getting her husband’s feeble mind palace revved up then going back to her sudoku

Metapost: COMMENTS … OF THE FREAK!

Mostly spooky one-panels

Melancholy Thursday

I declare victory in my long war against Crock

“The Bum Boat never disappoints” is a phrase that will haunt my nightmares

Quotable Monday

I can’t imagine Ed Crankshaft watching a movie made in the last ten years. Seems very wrong

Forgetful Saturday

Metapost: Your comments are here. Are you ready for them?

Friday is for failure and indignity

Soapy Thursday

Wednesday quickies

Hi still looks super depressed, at least

One-panel Monday (ok that Family Circus is kind of two half panels, fine)

The past, the future, etc.

You’re five times more likely to encounter a bone-in ham in the comics than you are in real life

Metapost: Your COTW is hot ‘n’ ready for you

There’s big profits to be had in zappin’

Thursday fast takes

I think I have the genders of these things pegged correctly, but who knows, really

“Dogs are great … receivers of my thoughts” is a little unnerving, not gonna lie

Uncanny Monday

10/12, uh, blaze it? Do I have that right?

Absolutely not necessary to use Muffy’s name in dialogue BTW. Adds nothing

Metapost: KAPOW! It’s the COTW

They teach you the tip o’ the helmet in firefighter school

Elder Thursday

Remember that comic that used to be about Christian cavemen? Well, I’ve got some interesting news

It’s the greatly attractive pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Monday is gross and confusing

Even passive enjoyment leaves pluggers exhausted

Balloons? These guys know how to party

Metapost: C to the O to the T to the W

Friday is for drugs

We haven’t even heard “Muddy Boots” yet, come on guys

More comics should be drawn from a ground-level POV